Saturday, September 8, 2007

Cervical Cancer is so sneaky

Hey there. It is my first real blog. I guess it is therapy for the mental/emotional part of curing my cancer. It is almost like I see my life as two different sections.
There is B.C. (Before Cancer) and A.C. (After Cancer). When you are faced with a cancer diagnosis at the young age of 31 years old....it is as if you stepped in to a nightmare. Going from healthy to CANCER patient happened with one sentence "You have a rare form of cervical cancer called adenocarcinoma." The next year was a blurr of denial, stressful decisions, and pain beyond belief. I know deep inside there is a great deal of anger hidden away under my person. I am a survivor....who has lost parts of herself (nothing compared to many other cancer survivors)....however, ANY loss hurts. Good bye fertility, good bye sex drive, good by cervix & other female parts, see ya later sanity....thanks for sneaking up on me when I wasn't looking. We can thank God for the good stuff and pretend to rise above the crabby stuff. But lately my insides have been torn and numb.....as if I am no longer young and invinsible--innocent.

I watched CRAZY SEXY CANCER by Kris Carr and it was an amazing experience. The things she experienced and the thoughts she had were so similar to mine. I really admire her courage and I agree that humor can get you through the bad times. She kept it light and her story will inspire for years to come. Thank you Kris Carr. You are a special cowgirl!!
Well, off to take my hormone pills....yee haw!!! Talk soon, SD